We all need a laugh every once in a while and having grown up a Cardinals fan and now living in St. Louis, I can personally vouch for the truthfulness of the following statements:

1. When Albert Pujols falls in water, Albert Pujols doesn’t get wet. Water gets Albert Pujols.

2. Albert Pujols invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

3. Albert Pujols ordered a Big Mac at Burger King…and got one.

4. Albert Pujols once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

5. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Albert Pujols pajamas.

6. Albert Pujols doesn’t stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.

7. Albert Pujols can slam a revolving door.

8. Albert Pujols uses a night-light. Not because Albert Pujols is afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of Albert Pujols.

9. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Albert Pujols.

10. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Albert Pujols.

11. Albert Pujols’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

OK, so I’ve heard that these are ripped off Chuck Norris facts, but I don’t believe it. I hope you enjoyed this.

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